On The Rocks
by dogbertcarroll
Summary: The sequel to Going over the falls. The time loop has begun!


**On the Rocks**

**Disclaimer: I own no Disney property, all hail the mouse!**

Dipper and Mabel got off the bus in high spirits. Getting away from their parents' high expectations and house felt like ... freedom.

The bus pulled away behind them, letting off a cloud of diesel fumes that were quickly dispersed by the cold, crisp mountain air. The pair looked around intently for their Great Uncle Stan. They'd just gotten off a bus they'd been on for two days. A bus with poor air conditioning and a bathroom that was a step down from a porta-potty.

If you'd offered them a hot shower and an actual bed to sleep in, in exchange for the head of the local sheriff... They'd just give you a funny look, they're twelve! However, they'd actually pause to consider it first.

"Where is he?" Mabel asked.

"We're about ten minutes early," Dipper pointed out. "If he's too late, I have change for the pay phone and a couple of contact numbers for him as well as money for a cab and motel and numbers and directions for both."

"If we weren't so stinky and sticky I would hug you," Mabel swore.

*POOF!*

An old man in a black suit wearing a red fez appeared in a burst of smoke. "Taaa Daaa!" he called out with a grin, waving a cane. He had an eye-patch over his left eye under his glasses, but he was still easily identifiable from pictures they'd seen.

"Great Uncle Stan?" Dipper asked. Mabel peeked out over his shoulder as he'd instinctively pushed her behind him.

"Just call me Gruncle Stan, it's shorter," Stan told him.

"Ok, Grunkle Stan," Dipper agreed. "I go by Dipper and Mabel goes by Mabel."

"What's wrong with William?" Stan asked, waving them towards his car, an old seventies sedan whose back seat alone was big enough for the two to go camping in.

"Way too many willy jokes," Mabel said with a sigh.

"Personally, I blame Clinton," Dipper deadpanned.

"Dipper it is," Stan agreed with a chuckle as he started the car.

"I'm going to bogart your shower for an hour," Mabel warned him.

"Better be a big shower," Dipper said, "'cause I am not waiting an hour. Seriously, I was considering throwing myself in a river if I could find one."

"I got two bathrooms," Stan promised.

"Bless you, Gruncle Stan!" the twins chorused.

Stan rolled down the window, "Don't mention it, you kids are wiffy!"

"I hate buses," Mabel groaned.

"Next time we take the train," Dipper decided.

"I thought that took longer," Mabel said.

"Yeah, but it's a lot more comfortable," Stan offered. "Remind me later and I'll tell you all the best ways to scam free rides out of them."

"That sounds like fun," Dipper agreed, recalling all the scams and tricks he'd read about in the mystery novels he was addicted to.

"We're here," Stan said, pulling in front of a large, rickety looking two story building with a sign reading 'Mystery Shack' that was some kind of tourist trap.

Despite its looks, the twins found themselves smiling.

"Shower!" Mabel shouted, grabbing her toiletries and leaping out of the car followed by Dipper.

"I haven't told you where they are yet!" Stan called out as the two ran into the shack past a startled Wendy and Soos.

"Was that your grand-sorta-kids?" Soos asked as Stan entered the shack.

"Yeah, they've been on a bus for a couple of days," Stan said.

"What are they like?" Wendy asked.

"Their parents are uptight suburbanites who always bragged about how perfect they are, but they seem like good kids," Stan said. "They'll probably be done in a half hour or so."

Mabel came down a couple of seconds later carrying Dipper's clothes. "Anyone got some lighter fluid?"

"Here," Soos said, handing her a can off his tool belt.

"And a lighter?" Mabel asked.

Soos passed her a lighter.

"What are you doing?" Wendy asked as Mabel tossed the clothes into the fireplace and sprayed them with lighter fluid.

"Setting fire to Dipper's clothes," Mabel said cheerfully.

"Did you go through the pockets first?" asked Stan.

"Oops," Mabel said, going through the pockets of Dipper's shorts to retrieve a wallet, a small roll of cash, and a notebook. "Thanks," Mabel said as she lit the clothes on fire. "I almost burned his notebook."

"What about the wallet and money?" Wendy asked.

"Never carry anything on you that is irreplaceable," Mabel replied. "Dipper has a back up wallet with all the same stuff in it, and money is replaceable."

"What's so special about the notebook?" Stan asked.

"Contact data and emergency plans," Mabel replied. "Off to shower, bye."

"We should have asked why," Wendy said.

"Let's finish closing up, they'll be done by the time we finish and we can ask then," Stan said, opening the register and counting the till.

**Half an hour later...**

"Gruncle Stan?" Dipper called out from upstairs.

"Yeah, kid?" Stan replied.

"Any idea what happened to my clothes?" he asked.

"Mabel burned them," Stan replied.

"Did she save my notebook?" he asked hopefully.

"Along with your wallet and money," Stan told him.

"Excellent," Dipper said. "Can you bring me my luggage? I need some clothes up here."

"Sure, kid," Stan said.

"Why did she burn your clothes?" Wendy called out.

"Who are you?" Dipper called back down the stairs.

"Wendy Corduroy, I work for your Great Uncle," she replied.

"And I'm Soos," Soos added. "I work for him too."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Dipper. We were stuck wearing the same clothes on a hot bus for two days," Dipper replied. "I'm really not surprised she decided to 'cleanse it with fire'. I'm just glad I wasn't wearing them while she did it."

Wendy laughed as Stan brought him his luggage so he could get dressed.

"Thank God for clean clothes," Dipper said coming downstairs wearing a pair of black slacks and a blue shirt with white buttons. He took a cap with a blue pine tree off a display and slipped Stan some money before he could complain.

"I thought Mabel had all your money," Wendy said.

"I had spare cash in my bag just in case I was mugged or got a hole in my pocket," Dipper replied.

"A bit dressy for around here," Stan said, despite the fact that he was wearing a suit.

"Two days of feeling like gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe," Dipper replied. "I feel like dressing up a bit. Tomorrow I can go back to shorts and tee shirts."

Stan chuckled. "I see your point."

Mabel came down wearing a blue blouse and black slacks, carrying the clothes she'd been wearing and heading straight for the fire place. Dipper pulled the sweater out of her arms as she passed. "Dip?" she asked.

"You hand knitted this sweater. I'd rather wash it myself a half dozen times than see your work destroyed," he said, rolling it into a ball and throwing it up the stairs.

"Softy," she said, tossing everything in the fire place and setting it ablaze.

"You make your own sweaters?" Wendy asked.

"If you need something knitted, I'm your girl," Mabel said proudly.

"She's really good," Dipper agreed.

"She needs her hair braided," Mabel said, handing Dipper a brush and sitting on the floor in front of him.

Dipper started brushing her hair, which looked to be a huge tangled mass making up half her body weight. "If it eats me, send help."

Mabel giggled.

"This is Wendy and Soos," Stan introduced them. "Wend, Soos, this is Mabel, my great niece."

"I like to think of myself as a fantastic niece, personally, but great will do for now," Mabel said haughtily before busting out laughing. "Nice to meet you Wendy, Zeus."

"Soos," Soos corrected her. "I'm not a big, muscular guy; though I could be, couldn't I?" he said thoughtfully.

"You got it in you," Dipper said as he brushed Mabel's hair.

Stan and Wendy looked at one another and shrugged, not sure what they were talking about.

"Do I have to give up burritos?" Soos asked.

"No, just add additional exercise. Get up early, walk a couple of miles," Dipper said.

"No jogging?" Soos asked cautiously.

"It's bad for you," Dipper said. "If I'm running, something has gone wrong."

"Or you're in an obstacle course," Mabel offered.

"They're fun," Dipper said. "But just straight running as exercise? No, thanks. Swimming is a lot healthier."

"Tomorrow morning six AM?" Soos asked. "I'll show you two the town."

"It'll just be you and me," Dipper said. "Someone does not wake up earlier than they have to."

"I need my beauty sleep," Mabel said.

"Try to wake her early and you face the beast," Dipper said, sidestepping her attempt to elbow him. He handed her the brush and began to braid her hair as everyone laughed.

"You kids are alright," Stan said with a grin.

**Typing By: Ordieth**


End file.
